Letters from Sri Daya Mata, late president of SRF
September-October 2008
Dear One,
When devotees write to me asking what to do about difficulties in their relationships, I often reflect on the shortage in our modern culture of an essential spiritual quality: respect. That lack is frequently at the root of trouble in getting along with others.
In so many difficult situations, I saw how our guru, Paramahansa Yogananda, treated all persons with respect and understanding. His perception was less on their outer role and human nature and more on the beauty and potential of each soul. He encouraged us also to relate to everyone with reverence for the Divine who dwells within. It was natural for us to give utmost respect to Gurudeva because of the godly nature that shone through him as an enlightened soul; he held a supreme place in our hearts as the one who came to lead our souls back to God. He reminded us that we also should recognize the Divine Presence in all. "The same love and respect you have for me I want you to show to one another," he said, knowing that in so doing, we purify and uplift our own consciousness and bring out the best in one another.
Respect and consideration harmonize and ennoble all relationships—between family members, friends, co-workers, and on a global scale, between nations. An important part of giving respect is to treat others as we ourselves would wish to be treated: to think of, and strive to understand, their perspective and feelings as well as our own. It is a human tendency to try to control, or to force one's viewpoint on another. But it is by creating understanding—by listening respectfully and communicating clearly and sincerely—that we can best be a positive influence in the lives of others. Guruji taught us to see each person as the Lord in disguise: "It is God who has become that form." It changes our behavior when we hold the attitude that it is the omnipresent Divine One who gazes at us through the eyes of others, who teaches us through our interactions with them. Let us give the best that is within us and look for the best in others. Rather than dwelling on faults or grievances, think of each person as endowed by God with the soul qualities of the Lord's own nature. Sincere appreciation, and constant striving to express courtesy, strengthens and sweetens any relationship. Friendship thrives in kindness and respect, but erodes through ill-chosen words, overfamiliarity, or critical thoughts.
In our Guru's expanded God-consciousness, he fully realized the Divine in each soul. "He who loves God, loves God in everyone," he said. We also need to attain that divine perspective, wherein respect for others is not just an intellectual or moral decision, but flows from a spontaneous empathy born of God-communion. Meditate deeply, and bring into your daily interactions an awareness of the Divine whose life and spirit light the souls of all.
God love you,
Sri Daya Mata
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